another boring day.
well, i couldnt sleep last night.
felt so restless. nonsensical dreams. i dont understand them.
paranoid, pressured, depressed, broke down.
i vent my anger by sitting under the showers crying my hearts out.
15mins, then out from the toilet faking smiles.
everynight i have to go through this torture.
self-torture.
i dont really understand what's wrong with me.
all i know is every night i feel like crying.
and here i am crying again while typing this.
i managed to sleep around 1am last night, only to be awake at 2.30am. and slowly tried closing my eyes again and had to wake up at 4.15am.
helped Mummy in the kitchen, and Sahur.
and suddenly i felt better. much better.
short call from Favian, puts a smile on my face.
Subuh prayer, then lied down.
slowly i manage to sleep.
thankfully, i slept throughout till afternoon.
i woke up around 1pm to a burning smell, only to find out that Mummy left the house wihtout switching off the fire in the kitchen.
thank goodness, i smelt the burn or i think my kitchen would have exploded.
she was boiling the instant ketupat.
clumsy.
so had to wakeup call Favian, but he didnt wakeup.
so i lie down on the bed, and decided to shower at around 1.30pm and then wakeup call Favian again.
and finally he was awake at 2.30pm.
didnt sms much since he was getting ready for reporting.
which then he met his friends.
i dont see the reason for me to text him now cause i know he wont reply.
has always been this way.
he wont reply whenever he's with friends.
typical of him.

Sister and nephews might be coming over tomorrow.
another pressurising day to entertain the boys.
oh well.
what to do.
im off to my regular shower plus crying my hearts out.
and then im gonna rest.
i feel sick. oh, i am sick.

i miss my BABIGIRLS, sorry i cant spend ramadhan and raya with you people. but i still love you all ok.
and yes, to my girls from College east.
the DAYAH(s), Amalina, Atiqah, Azreena & Shikin. i do miss you all again.
will try to meet every single one of you once im well enough.

but mostly, i miss you chinese boy.

ok take care people.
dont get depress like i am.
bye!