one after another, it falls on me.
how stupid was i to believe, that i can trust you.
but at the end of the day you lied.
you made a fool out of me.
i really dont know what ive done wrong.
if the girls out there is better than me, why dont you leave.
why say you love, but you dont show that you do.
after 2 years why now?
what have become of you.
dont say me, but people who knows us and knows what's going on too feel that you're changed.
NO ONE thought you'd be this way.
i thought your actions towards me, is because you care.
how naive i was.
there's a reason for everything.
you just dont care.
why at this minute, must you be a coward and run away.
why not face up the problem with me.
you said, you'll be here with me.
you Lied Favian. you LIED.
after 2years, now you LIED. how pathetic is that.
i wouldnt have known you lied, if i havent heard it from your friends.
you broke my heart real bad.
im certain, im not forgiving you.
dont give me shits that "kalau jodoh tak kan ke mane"
cause you have me, but you dont cherish me.
so tell me, how stupid would i be to fall for your tricks again.
2years boy. 2years. and simply you ruin it.
i thought you are a man of your words.
i thought you can really take care of me.
but when all this shit happends, you flee.
bullshit to people who want to laugh at me, or blaming me for leaving him.
but you dont know the story.
and never will.
i thank EQA, FIR AND BONCET for being there for me.
accompanying me, helping me out, trying to find a solution when the boy, Favian is enjoying himself at Zouk.
im deeply disappointed.

my life's ruined.
he just ruined it.
he really did.
now life just turn different.
my future's dead.
thanks alot Favian. for nothing.

putting all that aside.
i thank everyone who actually CARED.
though you all dont know the story, the comfort is enough my dearest friends.
i thank DAYAH JALIL, DAYAH YUSOFF AND AMALINA especially.
thank you.
you've always put a smile of my face. im deeply grateful for your existence.

ive been having cramps on my left leg.
and guess what, today it got worst.
my left leg is swollen and hard. i have difficulties in walking.
one problem after another.
i supposed im gonna hit the doctor tomorrow if it dont get well.
high possibilities, it could be a repeated incident from my sister.
water retention, hospital.
ergh!
i will update on my status, if i really have to go hospital la.

it's over between me and Favian if you people are wondering.
ive lost trust and faith in him.
and even if i weaken, if he were to come back to me, which i know i would.
trust me, things will never be the same.
but im hoping that he wont come back.
i dont need all this shits already.

oh wells, i dont want to waste my time thinking about him.
my health comes first.
dear ALLAH, ive sinned and sinned time and time again, i am never a perfect human, nor have i brought proud to late Papa, i know ive disappoint late Papa big time.
but dear ALLAH, im just a human, hoping for the best.
ive sinned and i dont know whether or not i'll repent.
not now, maybe future.
but dear ALLAH, please please protect me. please give me the strength to overcome all this. and please calm the hearts and open the mind of the person who is responsible for this, and please calm the hearts and open the mind of my family, who is facing this with me.

im just another human, never fail to sin.
:(