i want so much to look at the brighter side of things.
to be happy and put aside my worries.
but one comes after another.
it's always this way. life, you have no rights to fight with it.
you just have to accept things coming your way.
it's frustrating when good things happen, you feel so on top of the world.
and when bad things happen, it never stop coming, and you're on the opposite side of the world, being stepped on by all the problems you're facing.
you know how fucked life can be.
and i dotn know how long i can stand it.
i can be the strongest person.
but now, i am my weakest link.
it's so hard to control my emotions these days.
and im breaking down or flaring up over the smallest things.
im becoming like my sister.
i thank Favian dearest, for able to entertain my nonsense.
though sometimes it pissed me off, when im flaring up, and he's flaring up.
but the next day, at least he tried to be nice.
i know he wants to be here for me. but i know he cant.
i do appreciate him trying to calm me down, though only through smses.
but i know i failed to show my appreciation, and always being so temperamental.
im sorry Love, i really am.

side track,
my sim card's being a bitch.
it suddenly failed on me, i dont know why.
maybe it is spoiled or maybe because i have yet to pay the bills.
but they shouldnt have terminate my line right.
they usually just cut off my outgoing.
i dont know.
but for now, im certain that i cannot contact anyone.
and it sucks.
cause im sitting home like a retard.
and my hp all silent.
Favian dont allow me to get a temporary simcard.
cause he said, he will try to solve the matter.
im like so PISSED OFF now. i cant think straight.
shall listen to the boy then.
for those, urgently need to contact me. leave me a message at FB or my tagboard, or for those who have my house number. call me.
i will try to get back to you guys or anything. (:

i need sleep. ok bye!